Boyet is known in Tondo as “Bilis-Kamay”. His motto in life: “No CCTV to see, no dog to bark.”

One Saturday afternoon, Boyet targeted a large house with a colorful gate. There was a birthday party inside. It was noisy. The music was loud.

“Perfect,” Boyet whispered. “They’re busy at the party. No one will notice me.”

Wearing his black hoodie and a scary “Pennywise” mask (the clown in It with sharp teeth), Boyet climbed over the fence in the backyard.

He slowly entered the dirty kitchen. He saw the silverware stacked up—expensive antique spoons and forks.

“Jackpot!” Boyet whispered. He quickly picked up the six spoons and forks and stuffed them in his pocket. Kling! Klang!

He was about to leave when the kitchen door suddenly opened. Aling Vangie, the birthday girl’s mother, entered. She was sweating and looked very stressed.

She and Boyet looked at each other. Boyet’s eyes widened under the mask. It was too late! He was going to scream! He was about to act scary…

But suddenly Aling Vangie smiled widely.

“THANK GOD! YOU’RE HERE!” Aling Vangie shouted while pulling Boyet’s arm.

“Huh?” Boyet replied in surprise.

“What?! My daughter was crying a while ago! You’re late, Kuya Clown! Your costume is beautiful, Scary Theme! Tondo-style! Let’s go to the living room!”

Before Boyet could move, Aling Vangie dragged him to the middle of the garage where fifty naughty children were.

“KIDS! MR. MAGIC CLOWN IS HERE!” Aling Vangie announced into the microphone.

“YEEEHEEYYY!” the kids shouted.

Boyet panicked. “Wait, Ma’am, I’m a holdaper—”

He didn’t let him finish. Suddenly the DJ played the entrance music. The kids surrounded him. Someone was pulling at his clothes, someone was poking his stomach.

“Kuya Clown! Sample! Sample!” shouted the dads who were drinking on the side. “When there’s no sample, you’re beaten!”

Boyet was nervous. He was in Tondo. When they say beaten, you’re really beaten.

He had no choice.

“A-Ah… Ahem! Hello kids!” Boyet greeted in a thin voice. “Do you want some… Magic?”

“YES!”

Boyet reached into his pocket. The spoons he had stolen came out.

“Look at these! I’m going to juggle!” Boyet shouted.

He threw the antique spoons in the air. Because he is used to quick-wittedness in picking up, he is good at catching.

Kling! Klang! Circle here, circle there!

“WOAAAH!” the children applauded.

“Clown is great! Even our cutlery was turned into props!” Aling Vangie said excitedly.

Page: SAY – Story Around You | Original story.

Boyet thought it was over. He was about to leave with the spoon when the emcee stopped him.

“Oops! Not finished yet! It’s time for the dance number! DJ, hit it!”

BABY SHARK, DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO!

Boyet stiffened. He is a Notorious Akyat-Bahay, a member of the Sigue-Sigue Sputnik Gang. He doesn’t dance like a child.

But the dads were watching from the sidelines, holding bottles of Red Horse, looking ready to punch when the clown became KJ.

Boyet closed his eyes.

He was grinding.

“Baby Shark… doo doo doo…” (flying kisses to the mothers at the same time).

“Mommy Shark… doo doo doo…” (twerking a little at the same time).

The whole village laughed! Boyet, wearing a scary clown mask, was belting out the Baby Shark Budots Remix. His sweat was dripping inside the mask. His personality was so embarrassing.

“Last game!” shouted the Emcee. “Hampas Palayok!”

The pot was raised. The birthday boy, Jun-jun, was blindfolded. He was given a wooden stick.

Boyet, who was so tired from dancing, sat down on the side to rest. He didn’t notice that he was in the danger zone.

“Okay Jun-jun! Hit him!” shouted the crowd.

Jun-jun spun around. He lost his direction. Instead of hitting the pot…

BOOOOGSH!

Boyet was hit in the head!

“I’M OUT!” Boyet shouted, falling to the floor.

The pot above him broke, and flour, coins, and candy rained down on his face.

“YEHEY! HE BROKE IT!” the children shouted, running after Boyet to fight for the candy.

Boyet was beaten up. He was stomped on the stomach, elbowed in the face, and the garter of his briefs was pulled.

When the fight was over, Boyet was lying on the floor, covered in flour, and his eyes were spinning.

Aling Vangie came over, overjoyed.

“Oh, Kuya Clown! You’re so good! You’re really method acting! You’re really hitting people just to make the kids happy!”

Aling Vangie handed over a bag.

“Oh, here’s your payment. I’m sorry, I ran out of cash to pay for your talent fee because I bought some lechon. Here it is, a special loot bag and take-out to Shanghai!”

Boyet no longer had the strength to complain or hold up. He took the bag.

He fled while the people were eating. When he returned to their hideout, his gangmates met him.

“Oh, Boss Boyet! How was the operation? Did we hit the jackpot? Where are the jewelry?” his companion asked.

Boyet silently dropped the bag on the table.

He opened the

to his companions.

Contents: Two Zest-O, a pack of Marshmallows, five pieces of Lumpia, and a plastic whistle.

And the antique spoons? He left them at the party because the kids used them to eat cake.

“Boss… what’s up?” his servant asked.

Boyet rubbed the lump on his head. “Don’t ask anymore. I’ll just apply to Jollibee tomorrow. It’s safer to fry chicken than to steal from a birthday party in Tondo.”

Disclaimer: The stories here are just fiction and not news. What’s important is the lesson and emotions that can happen to anyone. Thank you, SAY!